The Kid With the Big Head by: Pedro Pietri
Lady, I’m a disabled veteran. I was wounded in Vietnam defending this great country of ours so your big head son won’t have to grow up under a communist system. That might not be your problem now, but it will be your problem when your kid and his big head get drafted into the military to fight for liberty and justice and TV commercials. In times of national emergency everyone goes including your kid and his big head! “Freaks to the Front!” was the battle cry of the Vietnam conflict. They had all kinds of abnormal military personnel ready for combat. They had kids with big head and kids with no head. They had kids that were mentally ill and kids that were terminally ill! Out platoon sergeant used to wet the bed and such his thumb on dangerous search-and-destroy- missions! But the most difficult kids in Vietnam were the ones that were drafted from the grave. The recently-dead and the not-so-recently-dead were exhumed and given a complete physical at the government’s expense, and those that qualified and those that didn’t qualify were given crewcuts, a uniform, a canteen, some bubblegum and an M-16 semi-automatic. And given three hours of basic training and three hours of advanced infantry training, and two hours of jungle training in an abandoned Hollywood studio, and then sent to die again for their country this time around!
THIS IS THE MONOLOGUE I HAVE TO MEMORIZE FOR MY THEATRE CLASS :D lol
